(inspired by a real life story)
Shahzadi (Her)
She hurriedly made her way to the upscale market. It was 7 pm on a Friday and she was expecting the usual crowd at the famous coffee shop. "English Mahaul" is which she had nicknamed the scene she always came across every weekend on the urban hangout places of Islamabad. Lots of young girls and guys, dressed in western wear, smoking, eating, laughing away seemingly without any worry in the world.
Well all her worries are also going to go away as well very soon, she hoped. The call a few days ago has given her hope that maybe her family will finally accept her back in their fold. It was the first time she had talked to her eldest brother in 4 years, who had called her. The last time she met him was when her mother had passed away. He was the head of the family now as their father had died when she was young.
"Shahzadi, my eldest son is getting married", her brother said. "This is the first wedding in my children and I want the whole family to be there".
She was overjoyed over the invitation as it was the first time that her elder brother had invited her for something. This also gave her hope that now maybe after all these years she will be accepted. Her sisters have always supported her but it was her brothers who had never understood her. They had always shunned her.
She was already making plans to stay in Faisalabad now that it seemed the brothers were turning around. It will be good to stay close to the family and see them often. Her rented room in a slum area of Islamabad always was a lonely abode after she went home in the evenings.
She had come here one last time before she started her 4 hours journey home tomorrow. The English Mahaul always yielded good money and it was always worth the multiple bus/wagon trips to come here. She needed the extra cash tonight.
"Sister, may Allah give you a handsome groom", she implored loudly while following a beautiful young girl. She knew the trick was to be persistent till a point until the "customer" yielded some money from their purses. She however had one principle: if someone refused flatly then she would not be pushy and move on to another customer.
She has always looked at the environment here with part amusement part wonderment. This was an unreal world to her. An apparition that she witnessed every day for a few hours. People here seemed to be from a place where there was no pain, no sadness. Only happiness. From afar they all looked so content and happy with life that she often wondered what was the magic potion they have access to which she has been denied in life. However she was also old and wise enough to realize that it was all an illusion. These people also had problems and issues in their lives, secrets they rather not let on their faces. It was more of a facade and they were apt in acting.
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Sheraz (Him)
His parents had named him Sheraz when he was born. He was their fourth child. Two more were to follow in the proceeding years. The family had celebrated the birth of a son with much fanfare as it is customary to do so. He was the third one.
He was born one month premature so had faced health issues during his childhood. Often he would not have the boisterous energy that the rest of the boys his age did therefore his mother used to dote on him a lot and would ensure that he is well secured and protected against the elements. He was also a sensitive child from the start, not rough and rowdy like his other brothers. Due to his weak stature he would often sit and play with his two sisters than go out with his brothers. Sports required too much energy and attention.
His siblings were always tasked to look after him whenever he went out with them. His elder sister was always very caring. His brothers were a little careless but mostly had good intentions.
The first time his life changed was when his father died when he was six years old. All of a sudden the hierarchy in his home changed and his elder brother Imran became the head of the family. Imran had to leave school and started looking after his father's modest spice shop. His mother went into depression for a few months but somehow managed to pull herself out of it for the sake of her children.
New responsibilities had turned Imran into a serious and strict individual. Financial burdens had made him short tempered and aggressive. He no longer smiled like he did previously and it was increasingly becoming difficult to be in his company. All the kids would scurry away as soon as he got home. Only his mother was the one who was able to communicate with him pleasantly.
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Shahzadi (Her)
The wedding was fun despite the lewd comments from a few of her family members. She mostly ignored them as there was no point in reacting to their nonsense. As usual the best part was the reunion with her sisters whom she loved very much. Although they always stayed in constant touch with each other over the phone but meeting face to face was usually a challenge. They lived in Faisalabad and she in Islamabad now.
Both her sisters were happily married women. Though they had financial challenges but they did not let that deter them. Her elder's sister, Zahida, husband was an electrician and had set up a small shop with one of his friends. Farzana's husband, Fazl, was a driver and drove a public transport wagon. Both of them had children. Out of the two sisters Farzana was her favorite as she was also closer to her age.
Her brothers had met her cordially during the wedding and it was heartening to see them thaw a little. Previously they used to ignore her completely in gatherings but in this wedding they acknowledged her existence which felt good. It gave her hope that now she should be able to settle back in her home town amidst her family. She can finally be home.
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Sheraz (Him)
He used to enjoy going to school. His teachers found him a bright student with a keen potential to learn and understand. However the rest of the boys in his class would often make fun of him because of his physical stature but that would not deter him. He had made a couple of friends who were his constant companions in school.
Despite the financial burdens at home his mother insisted on all her children, with the exception of Imran, getting education. Therefore they were all enrolled in public government schools where school fees was almost negligible. In the afternoons, after school, all the siblings had odd jobs to supplement the family income.
Sheraz also worked as an apprentice in a wood shop.
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Shahzadi (Her)
Loud knocking on her door woke her from her afternoon slumber. She hurriedly rushed to the door as she could hear wailing and screaming coming from the verandah.
"Fazl is dead!" Zahida told her. Farzana and the kids were screaming in the courtyard. Farzana was beating her chests and moaning loudly. She went and tried to hold her in a tight hug. The kids had gotten scared after looking at their mother's reaction and were crying in confusion.
Fazl was killed in a road accident earlier that day.
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Sheraz (Him)
Things changed for him again when he turned 11. He was confused as to what was happening with him. His body was betraying him in ways he could not understand.
After much hesitation he approached his mother. She took him to the local doctor. The doctor after his examination gave them the verdict.
Imran was livid! He refused to keep Sheraz in the house. His mother and sisters implored and begged him to let the boy be but Imran had turned a deaf ear to their pleas.
He dragged Sheraz by the arm and threw him out of the main gate of the house. "Don't you dare show your face here again" he thundered, "we disown you and don't want to have anything to do with you".
"You are a shame for us and I will not tolerate this disrespect of the family".
Sheraz was thoroughly scared and bewildered as he was unable to comprehend his crime . He did not understand what was his fault, what has he done wrong.
However the impact of his punishment became evident immediately. None of his neighbors took him in. He did not know where to go and what to do. He slept on the pavement the first couple of weeks. Ate what he could find in the garbage cans or begged at times. He had also lost his apprenticeship at the wood shop. He was too ashamed to go to school and ask his teachers for help.
After a couple of months on the streets he came across a group of hermaphrodites who were part of the a travelling circus called "the lucky Irani circus". They took him in and thus he became part of their troupe.
Guru was the one who helped him to understand what was happening to him. She helped him realize his new identity and reality. He finally comprehended he no longer had the same rights as his other siblings did. Guru also made clear the terms of engagement that he will have to abide by if he was to live with them.
He was too young to live on his own. The streets were not a safe place for a young person. He had no choice.
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Sheraz/Shahzadi (It)
He changed his identity from Sheraz to Shahzadi. She started dancing in the travelling circus when she turned 15. Guru and her troupe helped in her transition.
Dance, sex and drugs were her lifestyle for the next 15 years of her life. She had remained in touch with her mother and sisters. In the beginning her brothers had always refused to see or even acknowledge her. However after a few years she was able to meet her mother and sisters occasionally but her return to the family fold was still forbidden. She was allowed to attend her mother's funeral.
When she turned 30 one of her fellow dancer was brutally murdered by one of her amours. This jolted her to the core and she decided to leave the circus and that lifestyle.
Now for the past 12 years she had been begging on the streets, deeming it more respectable than her previous lifestyle. Hers has been a lonely journey based on pure survival instinct.
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Sheraz/Shahzadi (It)
The day after the funeral all the family got together to decide what needed to be done about Farzana and her three children.
After much debate and heated discussion it became apparent that none of the brothers will be in a position, either intentionally or unintentionally, to support Farzana and her family. Imran being the pseudo head of the family categorically said that he already had a lot of responsibilities on his plate thus will not be able to bear additional burden.
Farzana ultimately took a decision to go out and look for work. However it was evident that she alone will not be able to manage.
At the end Shahzadi stepped forward and placed her hand on her sister's head and her family, undertaking their responsibility. She quickly realized that her dream of coming back home and being accepted is no longer possible.
The next day she bought a ticket back to Islamabad and the English Mahaul.
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